For the last two years I’ve been working harder and smarter than I ever have. I think I’m naturally hardworking because I believe in myself, but I think I work just a little bit harder because I want others to believe in me. There’s two sides to me. One side says, “wow you’re really doing what you love full-time. How cool is that?” The other side says “you work hard and can do anything you want. Why is this a surprise?” I always have weird mind battles in my head. I think it’s the curse of being a Gemini.

I’m addicted to inspiring others, and that’s why I’m so transparent. I share my successes, my failures, my current struggles, and my strategies.

Currently I’m wondering, why are the people closest to us the very last to support us or tell us “good job”?


I don’t really believe in haters. I believe that there’s always an underlying emotion to someone that “hates” on another person.

When the people you love the most don’t support you, I think it’s because:

  1. You didn’t choose the path they thought was “right”.
  2. They know you so well (including the bad), so they’re shocked you can succeed with your flaws.

I mean look at me. I started drinking when I was 15, and I was pretty much a kleptomaniac. I thought I was going to be a journalist. I couldn’t excel scholastically when I left community college to attend a large university. So when the people closest to me knew all these things about me, they’re first thought wasn’t “that girl is going to do well.” It was more like “you need to straighten up your life, and follow the traditional definition of success to do well.”

Then when I do well (or even better) by my own terms, it’s not good enough for them.  Quite frankly, it makes them uncomfortable.

Imagine you have a friend that’s been overweight for as long as you’ve known them.  You tell them “you can go lose 10 pounds by running a 2 miles a day for two weeks.” When you see them, they’re doing jumping jacks and lunges instead. Are you annoyed that they chose a different way to be successful in their weight loss journey? Does it make you mad that they lost 10 pounds in three weeks instead of two?  Are you unsupportive because they didn’t do it your way and “wasted” a week?  This is the analogy I think of when our loved ones don’t acknowledge our results. Many times the focus is more so on how and when we got there rather than appreciating the fact that we just got there.

How do we handle lack of support by our loved ones?

We have to understand that we can only influence how people view us, but we cannot control them.

We can say “Hey, it would mean a lot to me if you acknowledged my results.” Or we can just say “screw what they think of me. The success will happen either way.” I believe that acknowledgement is a form of acceptance. While we can walk around with the “screw you” attitude, we all really just want a little love and support.

Sometimes I don’t think our loved ones realize how much their words impact us. Even if they’re not saying anything negative, sometimes the lack of encouragement is negativity within itself.

I believe people’s lack of support has more to do with them than it has to do with you. For a while I thought “am I not good enough?”

Many people hold onto your past, subconsciously use it against you, and project those things into your future.

[Tweet “Many people hold onto your past and subconsciously use it against you.”]

They don’t choose to recognize results. I don’t even think it’s important for them to acknowledge effort because real effort garners real results.

[Tweet “Real effort garners real results.”]

So anyway. For a long time I had been feeling like if I’m not something to be proud of then I’m something to be disappointed of. And that’s a depressing feeling. No one wants to be a disappointment. For years, it seemed like getting a “good job” out of my dad was like pulling teeth.

Growing up he would always say “people that succeed without school are the exception.” So you know what I used to think? I can’t succeed without school. I thought that I would never be exceptional or good enough until I got my degree. Then one day I said to myself (and him) “I am the exception.” I was too busy trying to fit the traditional mold of success that I couldn’t see my own exceptional potential. I would avoid sharing the “wins” and “successes” of my business with my dad because I thought it was never good enough [for him]. If my success didn’t come with a degree, it wasn’t REALLY successful.

Lately my sister has been so proud of me so she suggested I send him January’s income report. If I sent my dad an income report saying I made $573,792,073, it wouldn’t be as good as showing him a $2,804 paycheck next to a college degree. By his one word email response it’s obvious he wasn’t moved by the results. So I said “did you even bother to read it?” (Because I’m curious if he’s even paying attention.

My mini attitude was the equivalent of a “stop being mean and for once tell me you’re proud.” And I was totally shocked by the response.

I don’t agree with everything he said but wow. “I have always believed in you. More than you know.” Well yeah… I didn’t know because I’ve never heard it.

“I have followed some of your postings…” Whaaat? You read my blog?

“…amazed how much wisdom you exude and did not think I had much to add as you are on the right course.”

There it is right there. I’m doing so well that he didn’t think it needed to be said.

Here’s the issue.

If you’re going to make a comment on everything you disagree with, you could at least balance it out with remarks of encouragement based on what you DO agree with.

So here it is my precious reader. You got this. And I know it’s the same as hearing it from someone who’s known you your whole life, but you’re amazing. Continue believing in yourself.

You’re exceptional.

Your hard work isn’t in vein. People are quietly watching.